复习的还算顺利,内容虽然多了点,但我向来属于只求稳过的人,所以,应该没有大碍.

 

遇到一些事情.本来情绪蛮糟糕,后来静下来想了一想,忽然也就默然了.有些事情,过了就过了,所谓活在当下,就是不要太多挂念既成的事实和无谓的将来.

 

回来的路上,觉得胸口堵了许多话,想要写成一篇confession,发泄也好,倾诉也罢.

放下. 放下. 原来是最大的却也最难体悟的智慧.

说了太多废话,到头来还是一笑释之.

虽然被考试弄得焦头烂额,我还是偶尔抽出那么一点点时间翻了最近发现的两本有意思的书.对中医学生来说，大概所谓的课本是抹杀他们兴趣的最大功臣.大部分的中医课本都让我犯困.而在课外我却着实发现了中医的另一片天地.四川著名的火神郑钦安的<医法圆通>以及徐灵胎的<医学源流论>就是最近让我着迷的两本书.前者还让我对<易经>产生了相当的兴趣,寒假要用功一下.后者一篇篇精短的文章,分析精辟,论述有条理,实在是不可多得的好书.我承认我很懒,我想读的也就是明清时代的这些书,因为不像唐宋之前的文章那样古奥,也不像现代人的文字那么干瘪.中医读到底,就是中国文化的根子,没有这些根基,谈什么中医呢.不过现在这属于非主流,好在我向来对潮流不感冒,所以还能容忍这些"旧思想".

 

抽空写点东西,算是给大脑喘口气.回到开始想说的话题.I hate to be judged, especially by those who don't really know me at all and behaving condescendingly as if they could confine who I AM. If you wanna know who I am, you get to know it with your own sense, but not frequently with the irresponsible judgement and comment given by those God knows who they are. I am the one with personality, I am the one who has his anger, passion and love. I am the one you probably have never encountered before. I am the one now I think you will never know. Let it be. You have your concerns and worries and whatever. It makes no sense to me. It will not perturb the inner being of me cause I am WHO I AM.

If you don't like me. Fine. And I am a bit glad you don't. Cause you think I am a bad guy? For heaven's sake, I am not a perfect man. I make my mistakes. And I live my lives. But don't picture me as if you can see me through, or as if you know every bit of me from the fractured and kinda biased description given by God knows who they are.

You fear to come out of your little haven to confront me, a human kinda being demonised. You think a person shows himself exactly the way how he is reflected in others' eyes. That's why you try to recollect those descriptions about me and make them up the way you imagine who I am. Truly I tell you, I don't give a damn to the way others depict me. I have my principles and I live it MY WAY. Thank God, I believe most people who know me, whether being close or a bit far, will comment me in a favorable way. I do make mistakes, and I never escape from what I should burden.

I am better to be alone. When silence and meditation enthrall me, I know all I need is to be with myself.

Thank God it's not too late to back off and get out of the intertwined myth of your worry.

Worry your worries and you don't need to know me any more. That's it.

 

用英文在这个地方写一段对方不会有兴趣来读的文字,算是写给我自己看的.大家普遍的心态就是看到英文直接跳过,那是最好.

God knows.

说了一大堆的话.一个"默"字.尽在其中.